As I am breaking down the entire life of a Veteran, childhood (Chapter 1), Service (Chapter 2), and post-Service (Chapter 3), so I shall break down each stage using the phases of dependence; totally dependent on others, partially dependent on others, mostly independent. I use the modifiers totally, partially, and mostly against what is normally an absolute state, dependent or independent. I do not believe that it can be an absolute state, either way, except in cases to the extreme left or right of center and likely can not be maintained for long periods with success. So, I will use the modifiers.
When I speak of dependency, I am referring to being dependent upon someone or something to aid in the pillars of life I will explore related to Veterans’ lives; family, fun, friends, faith, employment, community, and service.
In Chapter 1, our childhood, the goal of our parents is to get us through the 3 Stages of Dependency to Chapter 2, to get to the next stage. As we are born, we are totally dependent upon others for success. Success at this stage is simply to live and grow our tiny bones, muscles, and organs. We are totally dependent upon our parents and other technically skilled providers for success. They don’t feed us, we don’t survive. Drs don’t recognize illness, we don’t survive. Teachers don’t educate us, we don’t grow sufficiently for survival. As we reach 15 or 16, we reach a state where we are partially dependent upon others for success. We may now have a job, a license and are educated enough for general survival. We still have a strong need for parents and technically skilled providers like Drs and teachers to help us get to the final stage. But here, we are able to move around, provide some for ourselves and make reasonably good, albeit not experienced decisions. As we hit the stage where we are mostly independent, we have gained some experience in the last stage, gotten smarter, are able to now head out into the world to fend for ourselves, get a job, feed our bones and our minds. Mom, Dad, and the technically skilled providers worked hard to prepare us for the next stage. Note that Mom, Dad, Doc, Teach and Coach were all preparing you for the next stage. Good work Team 1!
In Chapter 2, our Service, the goal of the military process, its leader’s et al, is to get us through the first two stages of dependency as fast as possible so we can spend the rest of the chapter at our peak. As we join the military, we are totally dependent upon others for success. Success, at this stage, is learning all the basic skills of a Warrior. We are totally dependent on the Drill Sergeants and staff to teach us how to shoot, move, communicate and medicate. If they don’t teach us right, we don’t pass to the next stage or if we do, we or a member of our team doesn’t survive. But, they feed, clothe, shelter, train, and provide emotional support for (note I spelled scream at you wrong) you. This prepares us for partial dependence aka going to our first duty station and starting to get the experience needed to apply our newly hammered-into-our-brains skills to. Here we have a chain of command, a Non-commissioned and/or Commissioned Officer to help us take those precious skills and apply them in the real, new world, more training. They are also teaching us about discipline, technical and tactical skills beyond self; how to fight and win. The career path, what we call the Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) matters some, as different MOS are more aggressive in their Warrior nature than others. All are important and needed, some demand a different lifestyle. Regardless, with sufficient training, Sarge et al get us to the final stage of dependency in service, the ability to mostly independent, maybe lead others and make decisions at a significant level. Some of us spent 4 years getting to this level of independence, some over 20 years. But note, that this is where the technically skilled providers’ roles are different between Chapters 1 & 2. As a reminder, your parents, coaches, pastors, and Drs were grooming you to get into Chapter 2, whatever that story was going to be. Their entire success was measured by how you did getting into Chapter 2 and surviving. In Chapter 2, Sarge and Sir and Ma’am’s success are ONLY in making you successful in Chapter 2, not growing into Chapter 3. Their success is in making the entire force successful in Chapter 2. Chapter 2 is everything. There is very little thought about helping you be mostly independent in Chapter 3, the post-Service part of your life. Sure, there are some educational aids but most are left for you to figure out once you step into Chapter 3. And as we know, it seems we start each Chapter totally dependent.
So, here we are in Chapter 3, post-service, with a good or bad taste in our mouth about our service; we might be healthy or we might not be. We started out the last two chapters with someone taking care of us, molding us, teaching us; responsible for our success. But wait, who is in charge of that now. Me? Wait, what? Nobody prepared me for this. In Chapter 1, I was built up, taught and successfully released to the next chapter. In Chapter 2, they broke all that down and rebuilt me from the ground up. We will talk later about what they taught us. Now, at the end of Chapter 2, they have released me to the world. The transition took about 3 days on their part. Someone tries to convince us to stay, we say no, it is time, and they teach us how to write a resume, wear a red tie because red means power; how to not curse during an interview, missed that block; how to convert destroy the entire Soviet bloc or kill bad guys into something we can use as an appreciable skill. And go. Seriously, I was trained hard, had years worth of education, residential and online, day after day in the field, living an important culture that shined it’s boots every damn night, ate, drank and bled red, white, blue and different shades of camouflage and spoke acronym as a first language. And some guy in the Central Issue Facility ends my illustrious time in uniform by throwing my horribly dirty, despite never being used, canteen back at me and says square this away hero. And it is off to Camp Living Room, Fort Arm Chair, The Block, Mama’s House. This ought to be easy!!
Until next time.
—SGM DTB—
Many who transition from stage 2 into stage 3 actually transition into a stage 1. They look for guidance and assistance from those who assisted during their stage 1. (Mom,dad, teachers and others)who formed a bond with them before their service. Those who take this route are usually a bit more dependent on others and have a tendency to fit into the daily grind and follow the path that was demonstrated by those who they lean toward. (Job,family,house etc.). Those who have a deeper admiration of stage 2 often go into stage 3 in a independent mindset that there is nothing they can’t do, but this has its down fall in that the world isn’t wired in the manner that the military is: unfortunately this is where the struggle begins and that when an individual is used to a polarized world and suddenly it becomes full spectrum they are outnumbered and forced to be on the defense when their mindset is to be on the offense. Many including myself believe in the polarized world and the reason behind it is that it worked and was extremely efficient. But I reiterate we are outnumbered and in this full spectrum view we are dinosaurs and our view doesn’t-matter. So this being said. We comply or go bye bye in societies eye. They in reality don’t care about what we have done or seen. They simply want to live in their little bubble of gender neutral no smoking and don’t hurt my feelings universe.
Very insightful, well written, and appreciated! Thank you
Darren Bean, this is so insightful to those that have NOT been involved first hand. Beautifully written I may add. Thank you for your service and thank you for making this blog, not only to make all US citizens aware of the true life of a soldier, but educating us. I have shared and will continue to dread this blog! Amen soldier