Are we failing transition? The narrative and rhetoric say yes. We hear that Warriors are committing suicide at high numbers, under-employed, homeless, struggling with PTSD for life, failing at relationships, and shunning outside interaction. Is all of this true and who is actually failing at transition, the military or the Warrior?
In 3 Stages of Dependency, we talk about how the military does it best to remodel us into what they need us to be for the accomplishment of the mission, then in a few days, with little fanfare, send us off to figure out what we are going to do. One of the problems here is not teaching us what skills, experiences, beliefs, and attributes we should take with us and which other ones we should leave behind or remodel for Chapter 3.
There are many wonderful attributes that the military has embued in us; strong work ethic, fast learner, loyalty, integrity, communication, leadership, and teamwork, to name a few. Those are all great things to keep and apply in our pillars of life; family, fun, friends, faith, employment, community, and service. A Warrior, with these attributes, with proper beliefs, is our Nation’s most valuable asset.
As our predecessors from the big wars and service transitioned into Chapter 3, they positively took those attributes and became leaders in many of those pillars; church, business, political and social groups. However, that was a different time, a time of Nationalism (good word back then), where the entire Nation was truly at war, with millions going to war, millions working to support the war effort and everyone being vested in defeating tyranny overseas. We were united and everyone contributed. So, our beliefs were different. More on that soon.
A Warrior with these attributes and the belief that we are here to continue our service of good, hard, honest work as a productive member of society, no different than anyone else and entitled to nothing more than we earn, will stretch the imagination of possible in all aspects of their lives. We can be better employees than those who, on paper, appear more qualified. We will be leaders in our churches, civic groups, Little League coaches shaping our youth, Rotary Clubs and revered walking around town. Not just because we served, but because we served and then positively applied those attributes into our community and life.
Beliefs (aka attitude) in who we are, what we have done and what we should do help shape how we apply our attributes. As my Household 6 (aka spouse, aka commander of my domicile) always reminds me “use your powers for good Superman.” Attributes applied with improper beliefs can be disastrous, divisive and detrimental to us and our community. In talking with a Warrior buddy, an Officer with a distinguished career, a couple of weeks ago, we talked about how you can provide all the resources and skills you want to a Warrior, but if the Warrior has a poor attitude, he will fail. So, what are these beliefs that are detrimental and different than before that are causing the problem? The military gently pounds into us the belief that we are superhuman, above all others except the team, a superior force, not acceptant of failure, and less empathetic. That doesn’t mean we don’t have empathy, just most of the empathy is decided at the strategic level and leaves less room for us to have that or many emotions that don’t serve the greater good. So, this almost turns us into narcissists. As measured by the Psychological Element Scale (PES) newer generations, referred to as the Me Decade, Greed Decade and New Gilded Age, are scoring higher in narcissism and lower in empathy 1 . Combine this with serving in an environment that says you are great, civilians don’t understand because they haven’t served and the advertisement of free chicken everywhere from good-meaning non-profits, and it is a recipe for disaster in transition. Oh, and if you have claimed PTSD with the VA Comp and Pen office, they will give you money for the rest of your life, without question, even though it is a treatable, curable and controllable syndrome, but because you deserve it” I read and hear all the time about Warriors who feel: ” work for idiots who don’t know shit, I managed a squad of Warriors in combat but they won’t let me be in charge of one project, or why can’t I get cheaper tickets for airline flights or how can I get my disability rating raised at the VA, I should be 100% for what I have done. Now, before you get your Ranger panties in a bunch, not everyone is like this. This entire blog is never meant to be always or never, or everyone or no one. Those who don’t fall into these categories or examples, generally don’t have transition issues. Ten’s of millions of Warriors have transitioned sans issue; why some?
According to the narcissism and empathy studies, over the last 10-20 years, the empathy scores have dropped significantly and the narcissism scores have gone up. So, if the military is simply a subset of society, then it only makes sense that those numbers would be reflected in our subset during the transition, particularly for those of the aforementioned generations, yet compounded by service. Those scores equate to higher entitlement. Higher entitlement equates to wanting more for doing less than someone who hasn’t done anything in their life. This hurts the Warrior as he transitions. The Warrior should feel others before self, regardless of position or accomplishments. The Warrior should feel that he must work hard, lead by example and give to others where possible. Confounded with these opposites the Warrior often finds himself lost in transition as he tries to balance the two. What he needed was someone to roll him out of the military attitude, gently, and help him understand that he still needs the attributes, just not the attitude. Someone needed to stop telling him that he was one of only 1% who served and much greater than those who didn’t. While those things might have some validity (because, well, I am awesome) they needed to leave those items as CIF with that dirty canteen. These issues are not a huge deal, for most people in most situations, but for that 1% who are transitioning from the Warrior culture into what they feel is something less, they are problematic.
So, are we failing transition? Yes, some are. the military system is for sure, for these reasons. It must do a better job or it risks being a cause of a National security issue instead of being the solution. We, my brother and sister Warriors, must change our attitude before and as we transition. We can and will do meaningful things with great people and serve the greater good. It is in us. Just leave the attitude at CIF.
—SGM DTB—