Free Chicken Found To Have Ebola

I’m betting that title really turned some heads. Yet, the content of this will likely turn some heads and anger at the same time. Ready? And before you get your Ranger panties in a bunch, read the content, understand the message.

In Chapter 2, when we talked of free chicken, we referred to the insatiable drive of the younger Soldiers to want more, free, without necessarily working for it. Give them a 4-day weekend, they want to leave at noon the day before. In today’s battle of generations, we would refer to it as an entitlement. It is interesting that this term, one I use often, particularly after hearing ok boomer, has actually devolved into a negative term. Being entitled means being rightfully owed something. This would infer that you did something, belonged to something, or paid for something to receive this entitlement. Keep that in mind as we meander through this sensitive topic.

I spend hours each day in research and communications with Warriors and on Warrior subjects, world politics, and cultures. One thing I have learned is that when you give something to someone, it can lessen its value and not always help the receiver. Let’s take this example. Many Warrior nonprofits, including the one I founded back in 2010, provide financial assistance for those in need. Most are no questions asked once their military status is verified. Most come with zero conditions, just a check. We didn’t do that.

We received hundreds of requests for financial assistance, sometimes ten a month. Not all were approved. In fact, less than half were likely approved. Why? Was I a heartless jerk? Well, yes, I am, but that isn’t the reason. Simply giving assistance only hides the symptoms, not the illness. When you break your leg, does a Dr just give you a Motrin? Well, military medics do that, but no. They realign the bone, figure out why it broke in the first place, like low calcium, abuse, neglect, negligent workplace safety, etc, then give you pain meds and a plan for recovery. So, if a Warrior asks for financial assistance, shouldn’t the nonprofit work to realign the financials, find out the cause of the financial issue and work to fix that? Yes.

So, that is what we did. We reviewed their finances, recommended a course of action and put them in touch with a financial advisor to help get well. I communicate with Warriors all the time who are pissed because “I applied for financial assistance at 4 different places and was turned down.” That’s because they know that just giving you money without providing any assistance in helping you fix the problem is really just throwing good charitable donations down the proverbial crapper. Sorry. Everyone who donated to our foundation, over $500,000 worth, worked hard for that money and trusted me and the Board of Directors to use it to help Warriors. Covering up the symptoms and not addressing the cause is not helping. We don’t combat poverty around the world by just giving people money. We provide them with job opportunities, education, and training, daycare so they can work, proper health care so they can work, housing, etc.

So, why is this so hard and such a sensitive subject? I am sure just hearing that I denied my brothers and sisters financial aid in their darkest hour has made you a little peeved at me. Don’t our men and women who have served deserve the best of everything that we can give them? Hmm. (I hear Ranger panties bunching). In a sense. yes. In a sense, no. I want to remind my brethren that we signed up for a noble cause, correct? To serve our country, protect our freedoms, follow in parent’s footsteps, be the change we wanted to see, etc.? And after that service, because of that service, some are unable to easily transition back to the community from whence we came due to injuries or illnesses. Some, unfortunately, are a product of Learned Helplessness. This is the ebola-ridden free chicken.

So, how does Learned Helplessness equate to this subject? Well, what does our society teach our men and women who serve and what do they teach others in their situation? First, our Nation is wonderful at offering free-chicken for our men and women in uniform, awesome. Well, not completely. This continues the process of Learned Helplessness. We learn that we should be getting discounts at Home Depot, no, Lowes is better, free airline tickets, free ball game tickets, and half off an appetizer at our local pub. Don’t get me wrong, this is a great attempt by our Nation to help those who have served. The problem is, we think we are entitled to that stuff as time goes on because that is all we know and think we have no control over it. In a forum the other day, I heard someone indicate you should write your Congressman because Home Depot didn’t give him a discount when he self-checked out. What? Another brother went to a manager because they didn’t give a discount because he didn’t have any ID to verify it. Part of pretty much everyone’s policy. Duh?

We know that there are huge holes in the VA system from the initial determination to compensation to the medical care provided. So, we as a Nation have decided to throw more money at the problem. Eventually, some of the symptoms that the service member has, go away with this assistance. But, it is not the right way to address or fix the problems and provide sustainability for our Warriors. In flush times, when donors and the VA can afford to throw money at the problem, no problem. But when times turn tough, and that money dries up, the Warrior is now doubly in danger, not able to provide on their own and no longer receiving external support. Free chicken can also create perverse incentives, where your efforts are better spent seeking to receive something like a charitable gift rather than obtaining something on your own work. If we don’t empower Warriors to stand on their own, we create a divide between us, something neither side of the equation wants.

When I signed my enlistment papers, and every reenlistment thereafter, I didn’t see the promise of discounted lumber or chicken wings. So, can we as Veterans, despite our Nation offering this stuff, PLEASE stop demanding it? We are not entitled to it. We earned and are entitled to a pension, VA compensation, health care and some other things based on our service and disabilities. We earned a holiday, some earned two. We, ourselves are teaching ourselves Learned Helplessness. If we don’t get that free airline ticket to go to a Packers game, we are beside ourselves and slam the airlines. Then, we don’t work enough on learning how to pay for our own airline ticket so we falter, then we NEED financial assistance. It’s not quite that simple and quick, but this blog is only so long. The bottom line, people offer, we demand, we falter. The more you are given, the more you expect to be given, the less you will work for it yourself. Then, when you can’t work for it yourself, you develop other co-morbid issues like depression and it gets worse.

Where else do we learn this? Well, in Chapter 2, the military provides almost everything you need. Food, clothing, housing, training, education, guidance, money, 401k, along with shitty vacations to foreign lands and a bunch of missed birthdays and lost relationships. If the Army wanted you to have that, we would have issued it to you. We work hard for it. I mean hard. Stupid long hours, stupid hard work, stupid environmental conditions. But, we learned that they will provide. What they didn’t teach us as we transitioned into Chapter 3, is that you now have to provide all this yourself. Too many get caught up in seeking their life through charity and the system. I read a half dozen comments in forums per day saying, I am 70% disabled, can’t afford to live, how do I get them to make me 100%? Yikes. Or, “I am P&T IU (permanent and total individually unemployable) have a job and they want to remove some of my benefits, why are they doing that?” See the problem here?

So, if you are still reading and not picketing outside my door because you are missing the intent, how do we fix this? First, the Transition Assistance Program offered in Chapter 2 needs to be aligned to self-sufficiency in Chapter 3. The military does not teach financial planning or accountability. Here is food allowance, housing allowance, and clothing allowance, with no checks on whether the service member is using it correctly on those things. More often than not, not. It’s a cool stereo, fast car or jacked up truck, a couple of guns and ramen noodles. I loved ramen noodles and had a banging stereo system. Leadership at all levels needs to teach how to budget, plan and obligate funds and minimize expenses.

Next, we as Veterans MUST stop thinking that the worlds owe us for our service. It doesn’t. I raised my own hand of my own free will for my own reasons, repeatedly, willingly, without the thought of free chicken. So did you. Just stop. I get what we all went through, although everyone is different. But I know I NEVER expected nor do I ever ask for a Veteran’s discount. Many notices because I have a USAA card and offer, and I accept, graciously. You managed to make it through the hell of military service, you can make it through the self-stated easier civilian life. We claim that civilians have a life so much easier, yet so many of us are failing at it when it is our turn.

What can the rest of our community do to help? Keep offering free wings with a side of blue cheese, I love wings, hotter the better. No, wait. Offering discounts on stuff is great, I honestly thank you from the bottom of my obviously cold, steel heart. It does make us feel better and I know it makes you feel good too. Kudos to you. I know you work hard for your money and sharing that with us is most honorable and appreciated. Just make sure that if you are donating to charities, they are doing good with it. And if you are one of the awesome people running a nonprofit out there, make sure you are empowering Veterans with your assistance, not causing Learned Helplessness.

This installment likely pissed off a bunch of Warriors and confused a bunch of civilians. Again, the intent is to enable Veterans to sustain in Chapter 3, thrive in the community. Some can’t due to the devastating injuries the military service provides occasionally. Many can but are caught up in the cycle of Learned Helplessness. Some will just ride those glory days to the VA grave. Most will survive, sustain and thrive, particularly if given the tools. Can’t build a house on charity. You need a hammer and nails and stuff. Drop the free chicken, grab your hammer and nails boys and girls!!

—SGM DTB—