My Life Has No Meaning

As part of my continuing thread of discipline and action in Chapter 3 of our lives, post-Service, I know that many of us feel that our lives no longer have any meaning. We go through the day to day grind, doing only what needs to be done, not really feeling excited about it, thinking it has no meaning in comparison to Chapter 2, our time in Service. The daily tasks and excitement in Chapter 2 gave us a desire to get up every day, to put on that uniform, to interact with our brethren, to do great and varied things, to challenge ourselves and others. Now, not so much. We become complacent with the boredom, not doing the things we need to do, like we talked about in Discipline or Disaster, just going through the motions to get to the next meal, the next drink, the next text, the next mission in Call of Duty.

Let’s start out by talking about the perceived differences in meaning between Chapter 2 and 3. In Chapter 2, our time in Service, we served a greater calling, a greater good, something bigger than ourselves. We served an entire Nation, training to be able to deter aggression, around the world, against the weak or oppressed. We fought the bully, we stood up for what was right, defeated or punished those that were wrong, removed dangerous despots and dictators who committed terrible acts of genocide, mass imprisonment, executing protesters to keep the public down. Whether we practiced organized religion or not, we believed we served our God’s will. We were right and might over blight. We were such well trained machines that even the thought of us arriving could end oppression, chase dictators to other lands. We were Superman, Aqua Man, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Captain Marvel, The Fantastic Four and Iron Man all wrapped in a camouflage cape. I mean, we were amazing, doing amazing things.

Now, we are salesmen, teachers, carpenters, small businessmen, insurance reps, mail carriers, plumbers and a host of other jobs that aren’t doing a damn thing to save the world or defeat any horrible despot, in our mind. Our boss doesn’t trust us to go outside for a smoke without having to sign out of the office or send him an email. We are not tasked with any real sense of responsibility, just making widgets until our next break, lunch or the end of day whistle. Our tasks are so mundane that the bosses nephew, who didn’t graduate high school, can do them to a sufficient level to collect a paycheck, likely greater than ours. Not only are we not super heroes anymore, but we are just another body on the subway, another patron at the bar, another employee ID number (I am number 3 by the way), just another John Q Public. We have never felt so useless. Even in Chapter 1, our childhood, at least we were cute and our parents fawned over us. Now, most people in the office barely know our name, much less what we have done, the crap we have seen, or the lives we have protected. What a depressing scene, bro.

Those feelings, and many more are felt by more than just Warriors every day. They are felt by the average American worker, who, day in and day out works his fingers to the bone for something seemingly unimportant. I see the comments on social media; “you are working your butt off for an employer who will replace you within 24 hours of your death.” Maybe the Warrior, and his civilian counterpart have forgotten about the importance of the complete industrial and retail base in American, and its vitality to this Nation. Right now, we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, the COVID-19 virus. In our country, schools are closed down, most businesses are closed, save a few essential stores, like liquor stores and grocery stores and gas stations. Mothers and fathers are having to work from home or not work at all to watch their children. The service industry is mostly shutdown with all of your friends who serve you drinks and bring you pulled pork sandwiches sitting at home wondering when this will be over. Government employees, home. Waste disposal, reduced to minimal operations. Elective procedures? No. Routine healthcare? No. Shopping for new shoes? Nope. Amazon deliveries? Oh yes, cause, well, it is Amazon after all. So, all those “meaningless jobs” we now realize are extremely important to our life.

We have figured out that sports athletes aren’t our heroes, its the college girl who brings us shot after shot at the bar. It’s not the movie star that helps us, it is the guy who answers the phone at the insurance company because we still managed to ding our bumper. It’s not the weather guy who shows up at every hurricane, it’s the guy who can fix our leaky faucet that is driving.us.nuts. Drip drip drip. It’s not the politician who makes our life better, it is the school teacher who teaches my precious grand babies instead of them having to move in with me and HH6 for a month or more. It’s not the guy who plays the newest rap tune, it’s that farmer who is still working his ass off to get food to MY table tonight; to your babies breakfast tomorrow.

So, maybe those jobs aren’t meaningless. Maybe it is okay I am a plumber, or carpenter, or delivery guy. Maybe everything everyone does contributes to the greater good after all. Maybe this boring day to day, not give a crap, not improve my position, just get complacent in my own boring skin, is better than I thought. Maybe if I felt a little better about what I am doing to contribute I wouldn’t get complacent. Maybe I would do more, try harder, give a little extra, tolerate that idiot boss of mine (not mine FYI just in case he reads this). This is important. Complacency leads us down a bad road. IF we are not satisfied, not fulfilled, not feeling like we are contributing, we will seek other alternatives to give us that rush, that fulfillment. A lot of these things are not so awesome for us. Dangerous activity like riding the bike too hard, alcohol and drug over use, risky sexual behavior, fights at bars, and negative thoughts about living or dying.

Don’t get me wrong. Nothing will likely give you the feeling of self-worth like dragging your 180 lb buddy out of the direct line of fire, like dropping from the sky with 100 of your best friends, like climbing a steep mountainside roped to another Warrior. Let’s face it, you were getting a life time worth of adventure, team building and adrenaline building activities in a very short time. It may never be AS thrilling as that. But it doesn’t mean that it can’t still be good. Accept good. There is nothing wrong with good. A lot of people will never be blessed to feel good. And, if the day to day is not enough, even though you now understand it’s s important, try something more. While I worked for the government developing combat equipment after I retired from the Army, despite how cool and fulfilling that was, I felt the need to help my brethren more.

So, I started a Veteran non profit. Building that from the ground up was exhilarating and fulfilling, more than enough. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen. That, too, was very fulfilling and gave me a good sense of balance and gratefulness. Go mow your neighbor’s lawn. Go play checkers with your elderly Sergeant Major. PS, let him win because he gets grumpy easy. Ok, he is always grumpy. My point is, don’t think what you do isn’t important and don’t get complacent with your day to day grind. Get out and do something if you think your job isn’t fulfilling enough. Workout, learn something, read that book again, help someone else, help you.

During these difficult times of stress and virus and unemployment, don’t just sit and watch the negativity on the boob tube all day. Do something. Be positive, change your game up a little, go help someone. I hope you all stay safe. Don’t just sit there and be angry about how Chapter 3 is meaningless. Your life DOES have meaning. You are destined for meaning, for good, great, and amazing. Go find that destiny. Don’t forget to check in on your elderly neighbor, via phone, of course. Be safe my friends.

—SGM DTB—