Tag: Transition

I Wouldn’t Run Into a Burning Building for Me

I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t set foot inside. For you, your family, my brethren, my family, a stranger? Oh hell yes, without thinking. But not for me. Why not you ask?

For those who spent more than a day in uniform (not to exclude our first responders), you know the answer. Because “I” am not important. Business leaders and coaches spew the rhetoric of there is no I in team, son. They do so in an attempt to rally the team or group into some kind of temporary success; a new contract, faster production, or a win over State. But, in Chapter 2 of our lives, our time in service, our very sense of importance that was built up by Mom and Dad in Chapter 1, growing up, is violently and quickly stripped away. All of it, gone with the blink of an eye and the scream of a guy wearing Smokey the Bear’s hat. As we progress through Chapter 2, at our first duty station, “you mean nothing, only the Fire Team or section matters” is perpetuated and glorified.

During this time of personal growth, we learn that our personal growth is not for us, but for the team, the squad, the platoon. Sure, they want you to develop professionally, get smarter, stronger, more experienced, etc, but it’s not really for you. Sure, four times a year you will be counseled on your performance, but truly it relates to you being a member of a team. So few leaders care what happens to you in Chapter 3, only that you help the team in Chapter 2. Don’t get me wrong, many leaders do care, but the system does not. The Army mission is further broken down into a Mission Essential Task List (METL) which is further broken down into individual and collective tasks flowing back up to victory.

Act as an individual, not perform as a sacrificing member of the team and you will receive correction. Sometimes it’s a simple verbal correction, sometimes it’s a screaming session meant to make you feel less important. Or you might report on Saturday for School of the Soldier, a serious one-sided physical smoke show where your vision grows dimmer along with your hydration status. Or if handled internally, you will meet your buddy’s socks and learn what kind of soap they use. Spoiler alert, they use very hard soap! Very.hard.soap.

All this seemingly foolish psychology develops our Armed Forces into lean, mean fightin’ machines capable of death, destruction, compassion, and liberation. It develops teams capable of anything, in any environment, day or night. It develops complete trust and faith knowing that we all have each other’s backs and are always there for one another. It creates a terribly self – destructive Warrior in Chapter 3 of his life, after Service, who will help all his brethren without question but will have to be fought tooth and nail to take care of their own stuff. So, no, I won’t run into a burning building for me. It would be selfish and neglect the greater good, so I am told.

I see Warriors helping Warriors all the time. Rides to the VA, helpful advice, a shoulder to lean on, an ear to lend, a few bucks to pay a bill. But, particularly with Gen Xers, I see Warriors struggling with their own shit as they help the other guy. I see so many Warriors who have not focused on themselves for so long, they have no idea how to. Talking with one the other day who is about to transition from Chapter 2 to Chapter 3 and he was remarkably clueless and angry already. Where am I going to work, who will I hang out with, how do I do the VA crap, civilian life sucks. He hadn’t read Leave the Attitude at the CIF, yet, apparently. We, as a Department of Defense, do such a great job at removing the “I in team” over a bunch of years, 23 in my case, and then spend zero time building them back up as individuals. Zero time, period, over and out.

This likely plays into Warriors taking their own lives at an above-average rate. If we are taught we don’t matter, think of everyone else first, work as a team, it is understandable that we would feel like we don’t matter in the end. But, we are wrong. While we were being torn down as an individual, we were secretly just being assigned another role. The role of caregiver, superhero, best friend, trustworthy partner. You really did matter because without you being so strong, so smart, so experienced, the team wouldn’t be as strong, we wouldn’t be capable of completing the mission. Well, guess what buttercup, we still need you on the team. The team has just changed. It involves spouses and children and coworkers and friends and brethren. So, you have to work on being strong, and smart and experienced so that we can all navigate Chapter 3 together, with our partners, etc. You must go to your Drs appointments, work on your education, your physical fitness, your emotional strength, and your faith.

So, you know what, I guess I will run into a burning building for me. I will treat myself with the same honor, respect, and care that I do for everyone else. I will work on me, I will fix me. I will save me. How else am I going to be around long enough to save all you freaking bozos who don’t have your crap together? Stay safe brothers and sisters. And don’t forget to rush into that building…for you.

—SGM DTB—

Transitional Fitness

The whole of fitness is underdescribed in its entirety when we transition from Chapter 2 to Chapter 3. We are told to stay in shape; use it or lose it. A lot of us stay in shape. Pear is a shape, right? But are we doing everything we can to maintain our health? We don’t need to be able to pass the new Army Combat Fitness Test (ACFT) or start up a Combat Fitness Gym, but we do need to take care of our whole health.

An article in Medical News Today describes health as “… physical, mental, and social wellbeing, and as a resource for living a full life.” Nutrition, exercise, proper medical screenings, hydration, proper use of prescribed medicines and supplements, mental health, hygiene, and social engagement are all part of this. In Chapter 1 and Chapter 2, we are taught all these things so it should be easy to maintain them in Chapter 3. If we don’t, why?

In Chapter 1, our parents, teachers, coaches, and clergy teach us the basics of what we need to know. Parents teach us about proper hygiene and health. Shower every day, brush your teeth after every meal, clean under your fingernails, wash your clothes, pick up your room, put on a hat and coat if it’s cold outside, etc. All these things, which we ignore, until they yell at us, form the basis which gets built upon by others in this and Chapter 2.

Coaches teach us how to build muscle and endurance through instruction and competitive sports. They reinforce hygiene making us change our clothes before and after the gym and have us shower so we dont funkify the hallways. Clergy help us with our mental health, teaching us about faith, calm, love thy neighbor but not his wife, be honest, have integrity, be good, help others. Teachers tell us about biology, the health of the human body, what food and water does for us and about illness and disease.

What do we learn in Chapter 2? Get off my grass! That’s what you should have learned Warrior breed. We take the basics we learned in Chapter 1 and fine-tune them, make them all mesh together to make us a high-speed, low-drag, MRE-fueled, beer-cooled, lover of two(men) and killer of commies. We learn that to be a good Warrior we must apply all these things with vigor or jeopardize the mission. Don’t shower and the enemy will smell you. Don’t pick up after yourself and the enemy will track you. Don’t maintain your endurance and the enemy will catch you. Don’t maintain your strength and the enemy will kill you. Don’t love thy neighbor and your troops won’t follow you. Take a knee, face out, drink water, change your socks.

Phew, that’s done. No more early morning PT. I love PT but the military sure has a way to suck the joy out of fun things. So, we work out a bunch less, celebrate with adult beverages while swapping war stories with fellow Warriors and think we are in the clear, maybe with some bumps and bruises. But hey, we are still young…right now. Eventually, we are in damage control mode wondering how we got this beer belly, can only do 20 painful pushups, creek and moan when we get out of the chair, and wonder why people at the bar laugh at us before we tell the funny story. Ouch, MEDIC!

What we haven’t done is use all of our skills, maybe at a slower pace, to maintain our health. So, what to do? Keep moving the day we get out, set up and maintain regular medical appointments, understand we won’t burn as many calories as before and can eat less, continue to help others, be kind and find something that occupies our mind when not working or with family. Let’s break each one down.

Keep moving. You don’t need to be Ranger Joe anymore, doing 2 PT sessions every day lifting massive weights and running so hard you blow snot bubbles down to your knees. But you need to work your cardio and keep your muscles working. Walk your dog a couple of miles every day. If you don’t have one, rescue one. Doing a good thing, saving money by rescuing vs buying, and is great for your mental health. Bam, 3 dead birds. Buy a used treadmill on Craigslist. It doesn’t have to be the top of the line and neither do you. Walk the neighbor’s dog, being kind and fit all at once. Work your muscles by doing your own landscaping. It will save money and use muscles that are more than just pushing weights in a gym. Volunteer at a food shelf. Moving cases of food around while helping thy neighbor who really needs it, win-win.

Medical screening. Don’t start on how the VA sucks, I get it. Comp and Pen sucks and so do some clinics. But some are good, too. The point…document your health, get screening for your ailments, referrals for specialist stuff. Seek a job with health benefits so you don’t have to rely on VA. Use TRICARE if you can. I know, the Marine Corps broke me, they should fix me. But going down the road of righteousness at the expense of your health may be a plan worth re-thinking. Don’t give up, but don’t throw the big fat baby out with the bathwater.

Mental health. This needs an entire subdivision (installment). Treat it like physical health if it is broken. Stop thinking civilian Doctors can’t help you. They can and will; trust my crazy and counseled brain. But it is more than treating PTSD etc. It is about being positively, socially engaged with other humans, having a job to motivate us and challenge our brains, loving another human or dog or stupid cat, helping our fellow man to give us faith in ourselves and others. It is so many things, easily done. It is not ruminating that Chapter 3 sucks, non-Warriors don’t understand, Chapter 3 is meaningless, I am meaningless. Sounds kind of dumb when you see it written down, doesnt it.

So, let’s maintain our health, wholly. It’s not just pushups, situps, and a 2-mile run. It is maintaining the whole of our self.

Sergeant Major is done talking now. You can open your soup cooler and help your fellow Warriors with examples of what you do.

—SGM DTB—