Author: SGM DTB

Darren is a 2nd generation US Army retired Sergeant Major; was founder and President of the Warrior Thunder Foundation, a Veteran nonprofit; developed combat equipment as a DoD civilian for 9 years; and now works for a consulting company that focuses on helping companies who employ people with disabilities navigate the government acquisition world.

Free Chicken Found To Have Ebola

I’m betting that title really turned some heads. Yet, the content of this will likely turn some heads and anger at the same time. Ready? And before you get your Ranger panties in a bunch, read the content, understand the message.

In Chapter 2, when we talked of free chicken, we referred to the insatiable drive of the younger Soldiers to want more, free, without necessarily working for it. Give them a 4-day weekend, they want to leave at noon the day before. In today’s battle of generations, we would refer to it as an entitlement. It is interesting that this term, one I use often, particularly after hearing ok boomer, has actually devolved into a negative term. Being entitled means being rightfully owed something. This would infer that you did something, belonged to something, or paid for something to receive this entitlement. Keep that in mind as we meander through this sensitive topic.

I spend hours each day in research and communications with Warriors and on Warrior subjects, world politics, and cultures. One thing I have learned is that when you give something to someone, it can lessen its value and not always help the receiver. Let’s take this example. Many Warrior nonprofits, including the one I founded back in 2010, provide financial assistance for those in need. Most are no questions asked once their military status is verified. Most come with zero conditions, just a check. We didn’t do that.

We received hundreds of requests for financial assistance, sometimes ten a month. Not all were approved. In fact, less than half were likely approved. Why? Was I a heartless jerk? Well, yes, I am, but that isn’t the reason. Simply giving assistance only hides the symptoms, not the illness. When you break your leg, does a Dr just give you a Motrin? Well, military medics do that, but no. They realign the bone, figure out why it broke in the first place, like low calcium, abuse, neglect, negligent workplace safety, etc, then give you pain meds and a plan for recovery. So, if a Warrior asks for financial assistance, shouldn’t the nonprofit work to realign the financials, find out the cause of the financial issue and work to fix that? Yes.

So, that is what we did. We reviewed their finances, recommended a course of action and put them in touch with a financial advisor to help get well. I communicate with Warriors all the time who are pissed because “I applied for financial assistance at 4 different places and was turned down.” That’s because they know that just giving you money without providing any assistance in helping you fix the problem is really just throwing good charitable donations down the proverbial crapper. Sorry. Everyone who donated to our foundation, over $500,000 worth, worked hard for that money and trusted me and the Board of Directors to use it to help Warriors. Covering up the symptoms and not addressing the cause is not helping. We don’t combat poverty around the world by just giving people money. We provide them with job opportunities, education, and training, daycare so they can work, proper health care so they can work, housing, etc.

So, why is this so hard and such a sensitive subject? I am sure just hearing that I denied my brothers and sisters financial aid in their darkest hour has made you a little peeved at me. Don’t our men and women who have served deserve the best of everything that we can give them? Hmm. (I hear Ranger panties bunching). In a sense. yes. In a sense, no. I want to remind my brethren that we signed up for a noble cause, correct? To serve our country, protect our freedoms, follow in parent’s footsteps, be the change we wanted to see, etc.? And after that service, because of that service, some are unable to easily transition back to the community from whence we came due to injuries or illnesses. Some, unfortunately, are a product of Learned Helplessness. This is the ebola-ridden free chicken.

So, how does Learned Helplessness equate to this subject? Well, what does our society teach our men and women who serve and what do they teach others in their situation? First, our Nation is wonderful at offering free-chicken for our men and women in uniform, awesome. Well, not completely. This continues the process of Learned Helplessness. We learn that we should be getting discounts at Home Depot, no, Lowes is better, free airline tickets, free ball game tickets, and half off an appetizer at our local pub. Don’t get me wrong, this is a great attempt by our Nation to help those who have served. The problem is, we think we are entitled to that stuff as time goes on because that is all we know and think we have no control over it. In a forum the other day, I heard someone indicate you should write your Congressman because Home Depot didn’t give him a discount when he self-checked out. What? Another brother went to a manager because they didn’t give a discount because he didn’t have any ID to verify it. Part of pretty much everyone’s policy. Duh?

We know that there are huge holes in the VA system from the initial determination to compensation to the medical care provided. So, we as a Nation have decided to throw more money at the problem. Eventually, some of the symptoms that the service member has, go away with this assistance. But, it is not the right way to address or fix the problems and provide sustainability for our Warriors. In flush times, when donors and the VA can afford to throw money at the problem, no problem. But when times turn tough, and that money dries up, the Warrior is now doubly in danger, not able to provide on their own and no longer receiving external support. Free chicken can also create perverse incentives, where your efforts are better spent seeking to receive something like a charitable gift rather than obtaining something on your own work. If we don’t empower Warriors to stand on their own, we create a divide between us, something neither side of the equation wants.

When I signed my enlistment papers, and every reenlistment thereafter, I didn’t see the promise of discounted lumber or chicken wings. So, can we as Veterans, despite our Nation offering this stuff, PLEASE stop demanding it? We are not entitled to it. We earned and are entitled to a pension, VA compensation, health care and some other things based on our service and disabilities. We earned a holiday, some earned two. We, ourselves are teaching ourselves Learned Helplessness. If we don’t get that free airline ticket to go to a Packers game, we are beside ourselves and slam the airlines. Then, we don’t work enough on learning how to pay for our own airline ticket so we falter, then we NEED financial assistance. It’s not quite that simple and quick, but this blog is only so long. The bottom line, people offer, we demand, we falter. The more you are given, the more you expect to be given, the less you will work for it yourself. Then, when you can’t work for it yourself, you develop other co-morbid issues like depression and it gets worse.

Where else do we learn this? Well, in Chapter 2, the military provides almost everything you need. Food, clothing, housing, training, education, guidance, money, 401k, along with shitty vacations to foreign lands and a bunch of missed birthdays and lost relationships. If the Army wanted you to have that, we would have issued it to you. We work hard for it. I mean hard. Stupid long hours, stupid hard work, stupid environmental conditions. But, we learned that they will provide. What they didn’t teach us as we transitioned into Chapter 3, is that you now have to provide all this yourself. Too many get caught up in seeking their life through charity and the system. I read a half dozen comments in forums per day saying, I am 70% disabled, can’t afford to live, how do I get them to make me 100%? Yikes. Or, “I am P&T IU (permanent and total individually unemployable) have a job and they want to remove some of my benefits, why are they doing that?” See the problem here?

So, if you are still reading and not picketing outside my door because you are missing the intent, how do we fix this? First, the Transition Assistance Program offered in Chapter 2 needs to be aligned to self-sufficiency in Chapter 3. The military does not teach financial planning or accountability. Here is food allowance, housing allowance, and clothing allowance, with no checks on whether the service member is using it correctly on those things. More often than not, not. It’s a cool stereo, fast car or jacked up truck, a couple of guns and ramen noodles. I loved ramen noodles and had a banging stereo system. Leadership at all levels needs to teach how to budget, plan and obligate funds and minimize expenses.

Next, we as Veterans MUST stop thinking that the worlds owe us for our service. It doesn’t. I raised my own hand of my own free will for my own reasons, repeatedly, willingly, without the thought of free chicken. So did you. Just stop. I get what we all went through, although everyone is different. But I know I NEVER expected nor do I ever ask for a Veteran’s discount. Many notices because I have a USAA card and offer, and I accept, graciously. You managed to make it through the hell of military service, you can make it through the self-stated easier civilian life. We claim that civilians have a life so much easier, yet so many of us are failing at it when it is our turn.

What can the rest of our community do to help? Keep offering free wings with a side of blue cheese, I love wings, hotter the better. No, wait. Offering discounts on stuff is great, I honestly thank you from the bottom of my obviously cold, steel heart. It does make us feel better and I know it makes you feel good too. Kudos to you. I know you work hard for your money and sharing that with us is most honorable and appreciated. Just make sure that if you are donating to charities, they are doing good with it. And if you are one of the awesome people running a nonprofit out there, make sure you are empowering Veterans with your assistance, not causing Learned Helplessness.

This installment likely pissed off a bunch of Warriors and confused a bunch of civilians. Again, the intent is to enable Veterans to sustain in Chapter 3, thrive in the community. Some can’t due to the devastating injuries the military service provides occasionally. Many can but are caught up in the cycle of Learned Helplessness. Some will just ride those glory days to the VA grave. Most will survive, sustain and thrive, particularly if given the tools. Can’t build a house on charity. You need a hammer and nails and stuff. Drop the free chicken, grab your hammer and nails boys and girls!!

—SGM DTB—

Why Junior Won’t Take His Nap

Oh to sleep! I know that many of you just closed your eyes and sighed because you wish you could. I have always loved sleep even when it hasn’t always loved me. The first time I understood that Warriors have issues sleeping was watching MASH. All the characters, totally exhausted, chose not to sleep due to combat-related nightmares. I then recognized it in one of my Majors, after an OEF deployment, likely Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, who was struggling with sleep and always tired. So, what’s the big deal if we don’t sleep? I’ll sleep when I’m dead. I’ll make it up later.

Why don’t Warriors sleep? The physiological and psychological reasons are many. Sleep issues for Warriors start in their training. Early in Chapter 2, we are taught to sleep lightly so we can be ready to go at a moment’s notice; to be on the razor’s edge even while asleep.

In our tactical training, in Chapter 2, we have a “rest plan.” It really should be called an awake plan, because its purpose is to maintain security, a task only done awake. We sleep in shifts depending upon the “threat.” 50% of personnel awake at all times was a normal rest plan. This meant that you and your battle buddy would rotate sleeping all night long, usually in one-hour shifts. If we slept in a tent with an open flame stove, such as the Yukon stove or Space, Heater Arctic, someone had to be awake at all times; more one-hour shifts in our rest plan.

When we aren’t in a tactical training environment we still don’t get our eight hours of beauty rest. Headquarters offices at every level need manning, 24/7. That means lower ranking Warriors get to watch the phones not ring all night. The Charge of Quarters or CQ. We also put a CQ in our barracks to make sure we aren’t sneaking members of the opposite sex into the barracks or being a drunk fool. PS, the CQ never did his job. Higher ranking Warriors don’t have to be CQs. They get to be Staff Duty NCO or Staff Duty Officer. Same no sleep, different title. All these people get the next day off to catch up on their sleep.

In combat, well, forget sleep without meds. The operational tempo (OPTEMPO) is far higher. Longer days, more days, harsher conditions, no comfy beds and blankets, the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air, and higher physical demands all lend themself to sheer exhaustion. Sleep wherever and whenever you can, if you can, means no good pattern of sleep. Many of the recent Forward Operating Bases (FOB) and Combat Out Posts (COP) in Afganistan and the Firebases in Vietnam saw harassing fire, probes and attacks day and night, which is not part of the rest plan. A perfect environment to guzzle a half dozen energy drinks per day, though.

And just when thought it was going to get better, some lingering effects also start to rear their ugly head. The symptoms of PTSD, including nightmares, hypervigilance, flashbacks, and hyperarousal, all won’t let Junior take his nap. Injuries and amputations with real and phantom pain upset the normal sleep patterns on top of that.

So, let’s add up Chapter 2’s effects on Chapter 3. Trained to sleep poorly, sleep patterns routinely upset in garrison, training and in combat along with mental and physical scars to our rest plan equals a recipe for disaster, if nothing is done. So, let’s fix this by undoing what we learned and get about establishing a real rest plan.

We need to fix this. Poor sleep is responsible for numerous health problems such as heart disease, mental health illness, and neurological disorders to name a few. Poor sleep results in poor performance at work, in physical activity like working out or competitive sports, in communication with friends and families and virtually every action we participate in every day. So, screwing with the most important part of the day affects the rest of our day, greatly.

So, what do we need to do to rest in Chapter 3? I can tell you that self-medicating is not the answer. Some Warriors self-medicate with alcohol. Ok, that was a lie. A LOT self-medicate with their friends Bud and Jack. That is unconsciousness, not rest. Booze is also a depressant which just exacerbates an already bad situation. This rest plan speeds us downstream to desperation and loss of hope. So let’s forget what we learned, fix what we can and get real rest.

Learn to sleep, deeply. We can work on this in a few ways. We no longer need to sleep lightly. Allow yourself the right to sleep soundly. The enemy is no longer right outside the wire. Next, turn off tech to stop the mind from being barraged by lights and sounds and angry Facebook rants before bed. Then, turn on tech. White noise, cricket sounds or running water are great ways to allow your ears to be alert while not hearing all the little creaks and groans of your apartment that wake you.

Read before bed or use a guided meditation app. Both good ways to wind down. I’ve fallen asleep numerous times merely moments into using this app. And don’t read war studies at bedtime and bring up bad thoughts. I read nothing but non-fiction most of my life. I now read fiction, garbage, so I don’t have to think at all, allowing my mind to just relax. Start off by shooting for only how many hours you think you can sleep soundly, then get up and sit quietly elsewhere.

The bed is for rest, not tv, not eating, not social media. If you make bed a place of rest, a sanctuary of peace, your body will recognize that and work on that pattern positively. If you make it a place to watch WWE for two hours, it will develop a bad pattern as well. Zero stimulation is the goal. Some do, however, recommend exercising right before bed to tire you out. That may work for some, not for others who do intense workouts or get really amped up while working out. Light stretching only is the best recommendation.

Ditch the booze and pick up prescribed sleep meds or over the counter meds used appropriately, if necessary, to help get into a pattern. These things are ok to help get you and keep you asleep. We aren’t looking to be knocked down like a tranquilized rhino. Just enough. Work with your medical professional on what works best for you. Did I mention ditch the booze? Booze affects your liver, which is responsible for good hormones. Mess with and it will pay you back like a liberty weekend in the Philippines. Reduced liver function is responsible for poor sleep. Everything in moderation boys and girls.

And finally, get the best bed and bedding you can afford. You should be spending close to 1/3 of your day on that thing, invest wisely. You spend tens of thousands on a vehicle, guns, gear, eating out, etc., so don’t cheap out on the most important part of your day.

Sleeping soundly will greatly improve your mental and physical well-being in every Chapter of life. So, if you want to get up up each morning ready to take on the day and kick some ass, you have to go to sleep, soundly, first. This installment was a little long, on purpose. I, and science, say proper sleep is the key to a healthy life, no matter the Chapter! Sleep well, my friends.

—SGM DTB—

Transitional Fitness

The whole of fitness is underdescribed in its entirety when we transition from Chapter 2 to Chapter 3. We are told to stay in shape; use it or lose it. A lot of us stay in shape. Pear is a shape, right? But are we doing everything we can to maintain our health? We don’t need to be able to pass the new Army Combat Fitness Test (ACFT) or start up a Combat Fitness Gym, but we do need to take care of our whole health.

An article in Medical News Today describes health as “… physical, mental, and social wellbeing, and as a resource for living a full life.” Nutrition, exercise, proper medical screenings, hydration, proper use of prescribed medicines and supplements, mental health, hygiene, and social engagement are all part of this. In Chapter 1 and Chapter 2, we are taught all these things so it should be easy to maintain them in Chapter 3. If we don’t, why?

In Chapter 1, our parents, teachers, coaches, and clergy teach us the basics of what we need to know. Parents teach us about proper hygiene and health. Shower every day, brush your teeth after every meal, clean under your fingernails, wash your clothes, pick up your room, put on a hat and coat if it’s cold outside, etc. All these things, which we ignore, until they yell at us, form the basis which gets built upon by others in this and Chapter 2.

Coaches teach us how to build muscle and endurance through instruction and competitive sports. They reinforce hygiene making us change our clothes before and after the gym and have us shower so we dont funkify the hallways. Clergy help us with our mental health, teaching us about faith, calm, love thy neighbor but not his wife, be honest, have integrity, be good, help others. Teachers tell us about biology, the health of the human body, what food and water does for us and about illness and disease.

What do we learn in Chapter 2? Get off my grass! That’s what you should have learned Warrior breed. We take the basics we learned in Chapter 1 and fine-tune them, make them all mesh together to make us a high-speed, low-drag, MRE-fueled, beer-cooled, lover of two(men) and killer of commies. We learn that to be a good Warrior we must apply all these things with vigor or jeopardize the mission. Don’t shower and the enemy will smell you. Don’t pick up after yourself and the enemy will track you. Don’t maintain your endurance and the enemy will catch you. Don’t maintain your strength and the enemy will kill you. Don’t love thy neighbor and your troops won’t follow you. Take a knee, face out, drink water, change your socks.

Phew, that’s done. No more early morning PT. I love PT but the military sure has a way to suck the joy out of fun things. So, we work out a bunch less, celebrate with adult beverages while swapping war stories with fellow Warriors and think we are in the clear, maybe with some bumps and bruises. But hey, we are still young…right now. Eventually, we are in damage control mode wondering how we got this beer belly, can only do 20 painful pushups, creek and moan when we get out of the chair, and wonder why people at the bar laugh at us before we tell the funny story. Ouch, MEDIC!

What we haven’t done is use all of our skills, maybe at a slower pace, to maintain our health. So, what to do? Keep moving the day we get out, set up and maintain regular medical appointments, understand we won’t burn as many calories as before and can eat less, continue to help others, be kind and find something that occupies our mind when not working or with family. Let’s break each one down.

Keep moving. You don’t need to be Ranger Joe anymore, doing 2 PT sessions every day lifting massive weights and running so hard you blow snot bubbles down to your knees. But you need to work your cardio and keep your muscles working. Walk your dog a couple of miles every day. If you don’t have one, rescue one. Doing a good thing, saving money by rescuing vs buying, and is great for your mental health. Bam, 3 dead birds. Buy a used treadmill on Craigslist. It doesn’t have to be the top of the line and neither do you. Walk the neighbor’s dog, being kind and fit all at once. Work your muscles by doing your own landscaping. It will save money and use muscles that are more than just pushing weights in a gym. Volunteer at a food shelf. Moving cases of food around while helping thy neighbor who really needs it, win-win.

Medical screening. Don’t start on how the VA sucks, I get it. Comp and Pen sucks and so do some clinics. But some are good, too. The point…document your health, get screening for your ailments, referrals for specialist stuff. Seek a job with health benefits so you don’t have to rely on VA. Use TRICARE if you can. I know, the Marine Corps broke me, they should fix me. But going down the road of righteousness at the expense of your health may be a plan worth re-thinking. Don’t give up, but don’t throw the big fat baby out with the bathwater.

Mental health. This needs an entire subdivision (installment). Treat it like physical health if it is broken. Stop thinking civilian Doctors can’t help you. They can and will; trust my crazy and counseled brain. But it is more than treating PTSD etc. It is about being positively, socially engaged with other humans, having a job to motivate us and challenge our brains, loving another human or dog or stupid cat, helping our fellow man to give us faith in ourselves and others. It is so many things, easily done. It is not ruminating that Chapter 3 sucks, non-Warriors don’t understand, Chapter 3 is meaningless, I am meaningless. Sounds kind of dumb when you see it written down, doesnt it.

So, let’s maintain our health, wholly. It’s not just pushups, situps, and a 2-mile run. It is maintaining the whole of our self.

Sergeant Major is done talking now. You can open your soup cooler and help your fellow Warriors with examples of what you do.

—SGM DTB—

The Greatest Game

Tomorrow, at 3 pm EST, on CBS, for those with television and on ESPNU radio for those listening abroad, a bunch of big guys will face off against a bunch of big guys on a lined battlefield for the 120th time. Is that what is happening or is the representation of who these men are and who they serve The Greatest Game in sports?

In the sports realm, tomorrow’s game will mean nothing. No national championship, no division title, no huge endorsements coming for the best player, no huge scholarships won. Monday, these men will go back to class, no richer, little more notoriety. Almost nothing. Then why it is The Greatest Game in sports? Tomorrow’s game is arguably The Greatest Game because of who the men are playing and the love-hate rivalry that will exist between the two teams players and the Armed Force they represent, forever. Tomorrow’s game is The Greatest Game because all the men on the field are willing to die, together or alone, for all the people watching the game. No other sport, no other game can approach this.

But it is more than that. Tomorrow’s game will evoke a myriad of emotions in 19 million men and women who have served this awesome Nation along with the Families that have supported them. It will bring back memories of a greater time when I served. Even as I write this, my mind wanders thinking of days with my brethren, locations we served, things we did, friends we lost. As a devout American, especially as one who served during the cold war, no greater sporting event has ever occurred than when the US Men’s hockey team beat the Ruskies in the 1980 Olympics, except this game.

Tomorrow’s game will evoke memes, jokes, puns, jabs and guffaws (sorry, I was a Batman comic fan) between current and former members of the Department of the Army and Navy (including their men’s department, the Marine Corps). And The Greatest Game will make us feel young again as if we were on the battlefield again. We will text our buddies endlessly GO ARMY BEAT NAVY or whatever the other team says. We will remember the days some stupid West Point 2LT tried to make us salute him in the field and we told him something inappropriate, as good NCOs often do. NCOs will mock the soon-to-be Officers as playing a silly game while we watch intently and pound our fists on the bar when the other team scores. The Air Force will complain from their high-rise dormitories that their team is better and should get such a billet on tv. The Coast Guard…well they will still be wearing shorts on the beach reminiscing about the David Hasselhof days. All this, rivalries inside of rivalries.

But, Saturday, at around 7 pm, these 19 million Veterans and 2.1 million actively serving Warriors will reunite around a common goal: defeat the enemy and protect the security of our Nation. No other game is like that. At the end of the Superbowl (can I even use that word here) the teams don’t hug it out for the honor of the NFL. The Commies and the Miracle on Ice boys didn’t have a drink in honor of the Olympics. No. After a few more late-night texts to the opposing service will begin the I love you bud and be safe sis calls again. Because the greatest opponent is still out there, the greatest enemy yet to be defeated, the greatest war yet to be fought. So, we come back together, brethren, for that reason; an incomparable brotherhood.

So, yes, at 3 pm tomorrow, will be The Greatest Game in sports played by representatives of the greatest men and women in our Nation, for the 120th time. And next year, for the 121st time, The Greatest Game will be played again. Because it is not about the date, the season or ultimately the score (GO ARMY BEAT NAVY) it is about a brother- and sisterhood that transcends 60 minutes of athletics. It is about the men and women who have and who will defend this Nation against all enemies, foreign and domestic. It is The Greatest Game in sports!

GO ARMY BEAT NAVY

—SGM DTB—

Leave the Attitude at CIF

Are we failing transition? The narrative and rhetoric say yes. We hear that Warriors are committing suicide at high numbers, under-employed, homeless, struggling with PTSD for life, failing at relationships, and shunning outside interaction. Is all of this true and who is actually failing at transition, the military or the Warrior?

In 3 Stages of Dependency, we talk about how the military does it best to remodel us into what they need us to be for the accomplishment of the mission, then in a few days, with little fanfare, send us off to figure out what we are going to do. One of the problems here is not teaching us what skills, experiences, beliefs, and attributes we should take with us and which other ones we should leave behind or remodel for Chapter 3.

There are many wonderful attributes that the military has embued in us; strong work ethic, fast learner, loyalty, integrity, communication, leadership, and teamwork, to name a few. Those are all great things to keep and apply in our pillars of life; family, fun, friends, faith, employment, community, and service. A Warrior, with these attributes, with proper beliefs, is our Nation’s most valuable asset.

As our predecessors from the big wars and service transitioned into Chapter 3, they positively took those attributes and became leaders in many of those pillars; church, business, political and social groups. However, that was a different time, a time of Nationalism (good word back then), where the entire Nation was truly at war, with millions going to war, millions working to support the war effort and everyone being vested in defeating tyranny overseas. We were united and everyone contributed. So, our beliefs were different. More on that soon.

A Warrior with these attributes and the belief that we are here to continue our service of good, hard, honest work as a productive member of society, no different than anyone else and entitled to nothing more than we earn, will stretch the imagination of possible in all aspects of their lives. We can be better employees than those who, on paper, appear more qualified. We will be leaders in our churches, civic groups, Little League coaches shaping our youth, Rotary Clubs and revered walking around town. Not just because we served, but because we served and then positively applied those attributes into our community and life.

Beliefs (aka attitude) in who we are, what we have done and what we should do help shape how we apply our attributes. As my Household 6 (aka spouse, aka commander of my domicile) always reminds me “use your powers for good Superman.” Attributes applied with improper beliefs can be disastrous, divisive and detrimental to us and our community. In talking with a Warrior buddy, an Officer with a distinguished career, a couple of weeks ago, we talked about how you can provide all the resources and skills you want to a Warrior, but if the Warrior has a poor attitude, he will fail. So, what are these beliefs that are detrimental and different than before that are causing the problem? The military gently pounds into us the belief that we are superhuman, above all others except the team, a superior force, not acceptant of failure, and less empathetic. That doesn’t mean we don’t have empathy, just most of the empathy is decided at the strategic level and leaves less room for us to have that or many emotions that don’t serve the greater good. So, this almost turns us into narcissists. As measured by the Psychological Element Scale (PES) newer generations, referred to as the Me Decade, Greed Decade and New Gilded Age, are scoring higher in narcissism and lower in empathy 1 . Combine this with serving in an environment that says you are great, civilians don’t understand because they haven’t served and the advertisement of free chicken everywhere from good-meaning non-profits, and it is a recipe for disaster in transition. Oh, and if you have claimed PTSD with the VA Comp and Pen office, they will give you money for the rest of your life, without question, even though it is a treatable, curable and controllable syndrome, but because you deserve it” I read and hear all the time about Warriors who feel: ” work for idiots who don’t know shit, I managed a squad of Warriors in combat but they won’t let me be in charge of one project, or why can’t I get cheaper tickets for airline flights or how can I get my disability rating raised at the VA, I should be 100% for what I have done. Now, before you get your Ranger panties in a bunch, not everyone is like this. This entire blog is never meant to be always or never, or everyone or no one. Those who don’t fall into these categories or examples, generally don’t have transition issues. Ten’s of millions of Warriors have transitioned sans issue; why some?

According to the narcissism and empathy studies, over the last 10-20 years, the empathy scores have dropped significantly and the narcissism scores have gone up. So, if the military is simply a subset of society, then it only makes sense that those numbers would be reflected in our subset during the transition, particularly for those of the aforementioned generations, yet compounded by service. Those scores equate to higher entitlement. Higher entitlement equates to wanting more for doing less than someone who hasn’t done anything in their life. This hurts the Warrior as he transitions. The Warrior should feel others before self, regardless of position or accomplishments. The Warrior should feel that he must work hard, lead by example and give to others where possible. Confounded with these opposites the Warrior often finds himself lost in transition as he tries to balance the two. What he needed was someone to roll him out of the military attitude, gently, and help him understand that he still needs the attributes, just not the attitude. Someone needed to stop telling him that he was one of only 1% who served and much greater than those who didn’t. While those things might have some validity (because, well, I am awesome) they needed to leave those items as CIF with that dirty canteen. These issues are not a huge deal, for most people in most situations, but for that 1% who are transitioning from the Warrior culture into what they feel is something less, they are problematic.

So, are we failing transition? Yes, some are. the military system is for sure, for these reasons. It must do a better job or it risks being a cause of a National security issue instead of being the solution. We, my brother and sister Warriors, must change our attitude before and as we transition. We can and will do meaningful things with great people and serve the greater good. It is in us. Just leave the attitude at CIF.

—SGM DTB—

3 Stages of Dependency

As I am breaking down the entire life of a Veteran, childhood (Chapter 1), Service (Chapter 2), and post-Service (Chapter 3), so I shall break down each stage using the phases of dependence; totally dependent on others, partially dependent on others, mostly independent. I use the modifiers totally, partially, and mostly against what is normally an absolute state, dependent or independent. I do not believe that it can be an absolute state, either way, except in cases to the extreme left or right of center and likely can not be maintained for long periods with success. So, I will use the modifiers.

When I speak of dependency, I am referring to being dependent upon someone or something to aid in the pillars of life I will explore related to Veterans’ lives; family, fun, friends, faith, employment, community, and service.

In Chapter 1, our childhood, the goal of our parents is to get us through the 3 Stages of Dependency to Chapter 2, to get to the next stage. As we are born, we are totally dependent upon others for success. Success at this stage is simply to live and grow our tiny bones, muscles, and organs. We are totally dependent upon our parents and other technically skilled providers for success. They don’t feed us, we don’t survive. Drs don’t recognize illness, we don’t survive. Teachers don’t educate us, we don’t grow sufficiently for survival. As we reach 15 or 16, we reach a state where we are partially dependent upon others for success. We may now have a job, a license and are educated enough for general survival. We still have a strong need for parents and technically skilled providers like Drs and teachers to help us get to the final stage. But here, we are able to move around, provide some for ourselves and make reasonably good, albeit not experienced decisions. As we hit the stage where we are mostly independent, we have gained some experience in the last stage, gotten smarter, are able to now head out into the world to fend for ourselves, get a job, feed our bones and our minds. Mom, Dad, and the technically skilled providers worked hard to prepare us for the next stage. Note that Mom, Dad, Doc, Teach and Coach were all preparing you for the next stage. Good work Team 1!

In Chapter 2, our Service, the goal of the military process, its leader’s et al, is to get us through the first two stages of dependency as fast as possible so we can spend the rest of the chapter at our peak. As we join the military, we are totally dependent upon others for success. Success, at this stage, is learning all the basic skills of a Warrior. We are totally dependent on the Drill Sergeants and staff to teach us how to shoot, move, communicate and medicate. If they don’t teach us right, we don’t pass to the next stage or if we do, we or a member of our team doesn’t survive. But, they feed, clothe, shelter, train, and provide emotional support for (note I spelled scream at you wrong) you. This prepares us for partial dependence aka going to our first duty station and starting to get the experience needed to apply our newly hammered-into-our-brains skills to. Here we have a chain of command, a Non-commissioned and/or Commissioned Officer to help us take those precious skills and apply them in the real, new world, more training. They are also teaching us about discipline, technical and tactical skills beyond self; how to fight and win. The career path, what we call the Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) matters some, as different MOS are more aggressive in their Warrior nature than others. All are important and needed, some demand a different lifestyle. Regardless, with sufficient training, Sarge et al get us to the final stage of dependency in service, the ability to mostly independent, maybe lead others and make decisions at a significant level. Some of us spent 4 years getting to this level of independence, some over 20 years. But note, that this is where the technically skilled providers’ roles are different between Chapters 1 & 2. As a reminder, your parents, coaches, pastors, and Drs were grooming you to get into Chapter 2, whatever that story was going to be. Their entire success was measured by how you did getting into Chapter 2 and surviving. In Chapter 2, Sarge and Sir and Ma’am’s success are ONLY in making you successful in Chapter 2, not growing into Chapter 3. Their success is in making the entire force successful in Chapter 2. Chapter 2 is everything. There is very little thought about helping you be mostly independent in Chapter 3, the post-Service part of your life. Sure, there are some educational aids but most are left for you to figure out once you step into Chapter 3. And as we know, it seems we start each Chapter totally dependent.

So, here we are in Chapter 3, post-service, with a good or bad taste in our mouth about our service; we might be healthy or we might not be. We started out the last two chapters with someone taking care of us, molding us, teaching us; responsible for our success. But wait, who is in charge of that now. Me? Wait, what? Nobody prepared me for this. In Chapter 1, I was built up, taught and successfully released to the next chapter. In Chapter 2, they broke all that down and rebuilt me from the ground up. We will talk later about what they taught us. Now, at the end of Chapter 2, they have released me to the world. The transition took about 3 days on their part. Someone tries to convince us to stay, we say no, it is time, and they teach us how to write a resume, wear a red tie because red means power; how to not curse during an interview, missed that block; how to convert destroy the entire Soviet bloc or kill bad guys into something we can use as an appreciable skill. And go. Seriously, I was trained hard, had years worth of education, residential and online, day after day in the field, living an important culture that shined it’s boots every damn night, ate, drank and bled red, white, blue and different shades of camouflage and spoke acronym as a first language. And some guy in the Central Issue Facility ends my illustrious time in uniform by throwing my horribly dirty, despite never being used, canteen back at me and says square this away hero. And it is off to Camp Living Room, Fort Arm Chair, The Block, Mama’s House. This ought to be easy!!

Until next time.

—SGM DTB—

Introduction to The Warrior Chapters

I decided to start writing this blog to help my brothers and sisters in arms make their way through the next chapter in life. I will explore the life of the Warrior during his (the term his/he etc. are intended to refer to the Warrior, both male, and female, as both are, to simplify the writing) time in Service and after, referring to these different periods as different chapters. Chapter 1 is the Warrior’s youth, before military service. Chapter 2 is the Warrior’s service. Chapter 3 will focus on the Warrior’s life after Service.

This comes from decades of experience as a) the son of a Warrior b) 23 years in service, c) running a Veteran nonprofit for 10 years, and d) being a study of the soul, psyche and interrelationships with the pillars of life; family, fun, faith, friendships, fitness, employment, and community.

I will explore, as my muse, the Veteran, strikes me, how childhood is now compared to 40 years ago and more; the many phases of a Warrior’s career (initial entry, follower, leader) in and out of combat; and the growth as a Veteran taking their continued and proper place back into society as a whole.

This blog is intended to help others as a conversation to have with those who would embark on this life. A conversation can only happen if more than one person speaks, so I ask for the insights, comments, questions, and suggestions from those who would read these words.

It is also intended as an insight into the life of those who choose this path for those who to choose to support them. Our Nation and it’s people generally support those who serve, regardless of the politics, persuasions, and propensities of those who we may not agree with. What we can agree with us that the Warrior who would risk his life is worth understanding.

As the Warrior enters his service, he swears to never leave his brethren behind. The word never is absolute, not variable by nature. This means regardless of your term of service, regardless of your branch, your rank or your religion, race, creed or gender you will not cease in your support. So, in that vein and the words tattooed above my veins “Soldier for Life, ” I will, and I implore you to join in to continue your path, do my best to continue to help those who would choose this life.

This is designed to be a helpful, insightful delve into the Warrior world. It is NOT a place for Facebook rants, slants, divisiveness, slander or general foolishness. This is a place to properly communicate to discuss honorably, fairly and without judgment.

Enjoy,

SGM DTB